Just a little break

Here is a photo of the belly toward the end of the 1st trimester. I have a bump and I love it!

I am taking a break. I love blogging. I love reading blogs and writing entries and leaving comments and I have been doing it for 5 years. But every now and then I lose my mojo and have a little hiatus. I think now is one of those times. I envy those who can blog consistently for years on end because I don't seem to be able to master it.

Thank you so much for the comments. Hopefully next time I post I will have a much larger belly pic...just not too large thanks very much

-xox-

A belly full of Spanish Omelette

I was spending so much time feeling sorry for myself that I totally forgot about Tortilla Potata (pron. Torteeya Potartar - or something along those lines..bearing in mind I am the same person who asked for a bag of "red tomorrow's"at the fruit & veg market)

Back when we first moved here and were living in a hotel, I was finding it very hard to come to terms with all the cured ham, seafood and unexplainable meats I did however love this dish and I had it for breakfast every morning.

It was so yummy so I looked on the net and found this recipe and made it:

Spanish Omelette (potatoes) - Video - Sclipo

Shared via AddThis

It was a disaster!

I wanted to buy the pre-made Tortilla but was warned (by someone who was very obviously misinformed) that it tasted gross and not to waste my money. Today I was desperate. I was going to scream if I ate another bowl of broad beans and brocolli. I wanted something different. Some protein. So I caved in and bought the store made one.

As soon as I got home I put it in a pan and warmed it up...

Then I cut out a rather generous a wee little bit:


And it was delicious....see:

Anyway, that was over an hour ago and I must now confess that I actually ate the whole thing in under an hour...the baby made me do it and I feel wonderfully full for the first time in ages.

10 Weeks Pregnant

I am so sorry that I have been slack reading blogs and replying to posts. I will get myself sorted in the next few days and back up to date.

I have now made it to 10 weeks. I am feeling much more confident. Two of the pregnancies I lost were before 10 weeks so this is very promising so far.

The whole sickness thing (does anyone really only get it in the morning?) went away but then came back, and then went away again and I am now left with an occasional little chuckie uppy here and there (mainly when I see burger king ads) but no appetite whatsoever. I would seriously be happy to plug into a drip and stop eating for a while. It is all so overrated.

I have pretty much resorted to a vegan diet and when my energy levels slip I have a bowl of porridge or All bran. I think the lady in the local produce shop might be in love with me as I walk in there every second day and spend a small fortune on stone fruit and string beans. I lost another 1.5kg this week but a big positive is that I don't need a nanna nap anymore and I am even fitting in an hour of exercise a day. Some days I am desperate to break into a run but I doubt I will be doing that for a very long time - just some walking, elliptical and free weights for now.

I was unable to find an obstetrician to take me on so late in my pregnancy when I get back to Oz but thankfully a Melbourne Hospital has taken me under their wing, squished me into an already full antenatal clinic and have promised I can give birth in the hospital - as opposed to the footpath outside as I was starting to envisage.

I have been struggling emotionally this last week. I am so ready to go home now. I spent a year loving Spain but then I fell pregnant and now I want to be in my own country. Mathew is working in the states and Macey is back in school so it's even harder to handle feeling so alone here.

Oh and I thought I felt a bit of a bubble in my belly...and got all excited before realising it is too early and that is probably what happens when you eat a whole box of All bran in a week! Lovely!

9 Weeks Pregnant

I am starting to feel better on some days and although I thought I was heading for a gain this week - I managed to stay the same.

I finally got my results and it put an end to an awful awful 2 weeks.

A fortnight ago I had my antenatal blood tests. I had no worries about them except a small concern that my thyroid medicine would be changed.

The first worrying thing was that a blood test called Torch (very old fashioned ante natal test rarely - if at all - done in Australia) that tests for illnesses that are dangerous to the baby came back as having a problem and it was sent away to Barcelona where I had to wait for a week to see what was wrong. No-one at the hospital pathology could help me as they didn't speak English and in Spain the Dr does not see the results until the patient delivers them during the next consult so I was not able to get any advice.

When the result came thru it said that I had a recent infection of herpes (of the cold sore variety) and that it can be fatal for the baby. I was a nervous wreck until the Dr told me that the levels suggested a past infection (not current as stated on the form) and that it was nothing to worry about. I felt better as I did have an outbreak of cold sores 2.5 months before I fell pregnant, however there was worse to come.

One of the results he opened up at the consult said I was positive for a current infection of Hepatitis B.

We were devastated...and I was embarrassed because of the stigma attached to being Hep B positive and although my current lifestyle is clean and safe I worried that it was Karma being a bitch about all the naughty things I did when I was young and not so wise.

I had to have further hepatitis screening to make sure my liver had not been affected. It was all very devastating and scary. The results were not expected for another 21 days as apparently it's quite complex and the test determines how bad the disease is and when it was caught.

I felt scared for my family and went out and bought new toothbrushes for everyone and stored mine in another room in case some of germs "caught" on and I have not let anyone even kiss me in case there was a chance they have not caught it yet or were not immunised properly and I passed it on.

I spent days sad and crying because when I give birth the baby would be taken away for injections and a wash before I was allowed to even hold it and then I worried about my chances of fighting the virus and resisting liver damage due to my lupus.

We finally heard back from the Dr today. He said that the further blood tests that he sent away had been returned as there is absolutely no indication that I have hepatitis or that I have ever had it in the past!

He needed our permission to contact the hospital pathologist who said I had hepatitis and to request an investigation into why we were given that result.

I am so relieved...but at the same time so upset that we have gone thru this for nothing! It has caused us a huge amount of stress and uncertainty.

It was all for nothing. I feel incredibly lucky but really angry at the same time. I worked in various Medical environments where these tests were done regularly for 13 years and I had never encountered this happening back home.

I can't wait to get back there. Only 128, 23 hrs, 01 mins, 09 secs to go!

8 Weeks Pregnant

I really don't want to spend every entry complaining but I have a feeling I will be doing just that until I at least reach week 13 where things are supposed to miraculously improve and I feel on top of the world.

The foods I can eat have now been withered to a pathetic little list:

Chicken
Stonefruit
Banana
Weetbix

Occassionaly I might manage to eat something else but it's rare. At least it's a healthy balanced list...kinda.

And on another positive note - I am so used to throwing up numerous times a day that I just expect it now and the whole process no longer has me feeling sorry for myself.

My weight dropped by another 1.3kg this week but I am going to make an effort to increase my food next week.

I have worked up to 15 minutes a day on the x-trainer and I get this out of the way in the morning so I can sleep and sloth about in the afternoons.

The only issue I have had this past week is the return of my blood tests. There is a positive in there for a certain test that should not be positive. It's not HIV but scary enough to have freaked me out. I am going back to the Dr tomorrow to have more tests to insure if I am really am infected or is it a false positive.

There is also another test that has come back positive to infection affecting unborns so that has been sent to Barcelona for retesting.

I feel okay...I am sure it's fine.

...

Okay I lie.

I am pretty nervous but hopefully by my next post everything will be wonderful again and my only issue will be back to keeping down food and finding ways to sneak in a nap without anyone noticing that I am lazing about again.

7 Weeks Pregnant

Another week down. It was a tough week food wise. Foods that agreed with me this time last week now make me sick just at the thought of eating them.

I have no love left for

yoghurt
coffee
chocolate
bread
noodles
cheese
citrus fruit
tomato
onion
tea.

The list of yukkies just seems to keep on growing and I have also lost another 800 grams this week.

I am trying to eat enough. Weetabix stay down, so do grapes and frozen peas so I tend to eat a lot of these foods. I did like red meat as my husband was cooking it for me but yesterday I decided to cook it for a change and now I can't stand the thought of eating it.

At least all this sickness means the little baby is still there and doing okay.

I managed a measly 15 minute walk yesterday. I hate not exercising. I feel disgusting. We finally had a good look at our x-trainer to see why I ended up with left calf problems when I last used it and inside the machine the steel on the left side has warped and split. Someone is coming out tomorrow to fix it for us so I am going to work on building up some exercise on it each day...starting slowly.

As long as I get all my chores done early...I am coping okay and I am only sick when I am not eating. It's probably a good thing I am living in Spain as some days I just want to eat real hot dogs or carrot cake. Yesterday I actually started to cry because I "needed" cinnamon donuts and flavoured milk and I just can't get that here.

Spain doesn't have the foods I want. It just seems to have a heck of a lot of cured meat and fresh seafood.....Blah!

Little Lentil

We saw our baby yesterday. She (or he of course) is 3mm tall!

Everything is going well so far and the Dr does not want to see me for another 6 weeks which is apparently when he will do another scan and discuss amniocentesis with me.

Naturally the thought of that almost made me sick. I am already scared of needles to the point of passing out but I also have an irrational fear of anything going near the inside of my belly button. I am okay around the belly button or perhaps hovering at the entrance but inside is a no go area. It can bring me to tears and it makes me all queazy.

I always feared this procedure as I am sure I read somewhere that the needle goes into the belly button. Is this even true? In every pregnancy I have been grateful for my youth as it avoided me this procedure but now I may not be so lucky.

My sister suggested I look at videos on google about it but I can't really go there.

Please can someone reassure me by letting me know:

a) that the needle is not really that big
b) it doesn't go into the belly button at all
c) I won't feel a thing

I lost 700 grams this week. I truly loathe food right now and am only forcing myself to eat because I am making another human.

I am also not exercising much. My days are written off after 4pm and the mornings are currently being used by my husbands training for a race in 5 weeks.

I walk with my daughter but it's not much fun for her. We need to stop often so I can quickly cover my face with a baggie and dry heave into it. We also can only travel so far as the urge to pee is very sudden and frequent.

As soon as I get some energy I plan on moving more...